Happiness is a difficult thing to define. Some people say that happiness is a choice while others say it is absolutely not a choice. I find that the more I take care of myself (eat well, sleep well, exercise, meditate, drink less alcohol, etc.), the better I can show up for others and try to be of service to them. This is one of the easiest ways to improve happiness that I’ve found: helping others. All of the behaviors I listed are choices that I can make that will lead to a happier version of myself. So for me, happiness is a choice. I was lucky enough to have been dealt the physical, mental, emotional and circumstantial hand for this to be true. Obviously that is not the case for everyone.
I think it’s safe to say that all human beings want to be happy. I think it’s also safe to say that all human beings struggle to be happy, at least sometimes. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few years thinking and reading about how to be happier. Below I have three quotes from others and two ideas of my own on how achieve this.
“Love and curiosity. These are the most important values in achieving happiness.”
-Sam Harris
“Patience, Joy, Gratitude. Imagine you have knobs in your mind governing these 3 attitudes, and you can just turn them up. You can actually do that. Simply be twice as patient and joyful and grateful.”
-Sam Harris
“The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.”
-Bertrand Russell
I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can be a better person and I do things to try and make it so. More often I should stop and be grateful for who I am right now. Maybe there are aspects of myself and things I don’t need to change and I should focus on why that is.
What are the things about myself that I like and do not want to change?
Notice when you get worked up over some hypothetical interaction between you and someone else and how it can destroy focus and good moods. When you notice this happening, Stop. Take a deep breath. Reset.
Most of the narrative that occurs in our head is hypothetical shit that will never actually happen in the future, or something from the past that only we remember or care about.
Lean Into Happiness
If you’re feeling good today.
If at any point you’re feeling happy about anything.
Lean into that feeling.
Embrace it.
Let it grow.
Let it overtake you.
Share it.
Ride it out for as long as it lasts.
This practice will pay dividends in the form of more happiness for you and those around you.
Compounding happiness.
It may last for hours, or days.
Most of the time you will fail,
But when it works.
It is amazing.
It can be trained.
Like a muscle.
The happiness muscle.
It also works with gratitude
And probably other emotions as well.
John Prine exudes happiness, kindness and humor. All of his songs make me happy, but there was a moment about four years ago when I was feeling as low as low can be and this song came on and just snapped me right out of it. I was familiar with Prine’s music but had not heard this song. It felt like he was speaking directly to me. This was shortly after he had passed away. Every time I hear it I’m reminded of that moment. RIP.