Last week I turned thirty four. I do not feel old yet, but I had an interesting thought regarding my mortality - if I am blessed enough to live as long as my grandfather (96 years), my life is already more than one third of the way through. If I’m not so lucky then it’s even further along. I don’t view this as a bad thing. It’s a useful thing to recall; if not every day, then at least once in a while.
The name of this concept is Memento Mori (Latin for “remember you must die”). It is a meditative practice that serves as a reminder of mortality and the transitory nature of earthly pleasures. It can help one to stay grounded in the present moment and grateful for all that life has to offer.
The notion of “remembering death” appears throughout history as a common theme in art and spirituality. Many cultures have traditions that approach this concept in unique ways.
It is most often associated with the stoic philosophers of ancient Rome. In “Meditations,” Marcus Aurelius wrote that:
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.
In Plato’s Phaedo, Socrates says:
The one aim of those who practice philosophy in the proper manner is to practice for dying and death.
The ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramid as the burial chamber for pharaoh Khufu. It’s hard to overstate the importance they placed on death.
Memento Mori is a foundational element of Christianity. There are many passages in the Old Testament that encourage a remembrance of the fragility and shortness of life. Here are two examples:
The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it; surely the people are grass (Is. 40:7).
In all you do, remember the end of your life, and then you will never sin” (Sirach 7:36).
I have not fully committed to the practice of “memento mori”, but I do it often enough that I can say it has helped me. It has pushed me to try things that I might not otherwise have tried, like this newsletter for example. I have always wanted to be a writer, but I was afraid of failure, of judgment, of the time commitment. With the knowledge that my life is already one third of the way through (if I’m lucky), why not try something that I have wanted to do for most of my life? Why not strike up a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop? Why not be nice to the customer service rep that you had to sit on hold for an hour to talk to? Why not forgive yourself for some mistake you made ten years ago? Why not call your mother up and tell her that you love her?
These things can be hard and awkward and not exactly much fun. I constantly try to do all of them and I constantly fail. But once in a while I succeed. I go out on a limb and I say something nice to someone; I restrain myself from getting angry at my wife for some small thing that she does that bothers me; I do not get angry at the driver who cuts me off on the highway and then proceeds to drive five miles per hour below the speed limit. And it feels really good, and I want to do it more often.
In this modern world that we live in, death is largely hidden from us. It’s easy to ignore, or even sometimes forget that we are all going to die. The real point of this practice is to remind yourself that you are going to die and to live in a way that acknowledges this fact; to help you remember to be kind to yourself and others, and to be present and enjoy the ride as much and as often as you can.
Three Interesting Finds on This Topic:
I learned of this concept from Ryan Holiday who explains it in a short interesting way below:
A transcript of Sam Harris talking about death which is awesome:
https://blog.calebbuscher.com/the-lessons-of-death
An article by Ram Dass on death:
“Ram Dass writes about how his attitude towards death has changed with his spiritual growth, and that he’s got it on good authority that dying is absolutely safe.”
Good post Sam! A topic that is awkward for many of us to think about let alone talk about it!
Cheers and happy belated birthday!